the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There r osticjed everywhere
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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