Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
