Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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