dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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