As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
