I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize