I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
