dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
