I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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