Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
