My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
