Me. At least after what I've been through.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
