..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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