do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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