Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize