drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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