Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon