I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.