Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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