hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
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She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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