i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
