Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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