But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm both gender and math confused
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
