I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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