he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We left the knife in your bed.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
