where am i from again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm both gender and math confused
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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