You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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