Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
