my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
