Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You took a bar mat shot.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
