So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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