I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
