Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
