I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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