she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
