don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
