finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
