What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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