a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
