I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
