I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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