Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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