Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
