I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
