for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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