considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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