Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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