She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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