you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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