weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
