You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
