I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
pop tarts are not kleenex
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
