remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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