I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
