I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
