belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
