dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
