We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
