I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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