No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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