I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
